Monday, August 10, 2009

What about fonder and hearts?

Does anyone realize what happens when they're terribly bored? Well, the past seems to come to light every time one looks around and realizes "Dang, my present holds nothing. I guess I'll take a shuttle to the past." and when my mind has a thought like that, old pictures, old notes and what not are discovered.

In my case, it was my old Xanga account - you know, that old type of blog you used in sixth grade. My discovery led me to all of my other accounts, where I soon realized that I was a total nut. I wrote everything that happened throughout my day, assuming people cared. The crazy thing is, is that people actually cared! I had actual comments, or "e-props", or "take backs", from friends or random people that read my blog. It almost freaked me about a bit, because I would literally write about nothing. Some days, my blog only consisted of one sentence. I also realized how angry I was. My words were written out of spite, formed to attack and stab. Also, I cursed like a sailor and now that I think about it, I also had friends that would show up to my doorstep on a daily basis, wanting to hang out. What the heck happened?

Well, moving to Florida probably had something to do with it. Actually, probably all of it. One thing is certain, I miss Virginia Beach terribly. My annual visit is long overdue, yet I suppose it's a good thing. My life is anew and to try and change that by warping myself back to the past won't help a thing. This sentence was contradicting.

Back to my present. My boyfriend leaves for a week tomorrow for our churches youth summer camp event, and I'm going to miss the bones out of that boy. Although, I tried to explain to the boy that it might be a good thing we're apart for a week and he immediately grew defensive and asked why. I then tried explaining the "Distance makes the heart grow fonder" saying and that proved futile. It only made me realize that yes, this little break will be great. We've been bickering so much lately that it's dried me out like a plant left without water and in too much sunlight. At least I know he's going to be a great leader for all of the kids. Our relationship plays no role in that and his time with God will, more than likely, reveal a lot of things. God's just that good.

I've been planning what I'll do within this week he will be out of town. Spending my quality time with God and even cleaning my car that may have infestations of some sort. It's disgusting, I know. I'll also be preparing for the Fall semester of school that's coming up quicker than a pimple, and even, hopefully, finishing Atlas Shrugged and starting the scholarship. But before this all begins, I'll be getting sushi at Kazu's with the boy.

But first I need to get off of work...

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